In The Mess

Sunset at Bulldog Rock, AZ

In 2014 I moved to Arizona.

We had a plan of the husband working for a few months in oil up here in North Dakota and then following. I was just heading down before him since the plan to move was already in motion. 8 months later I moved back to Minot…

Tell God your plans and watch Him laugh.

But GOD…He knew exactly what He was doing in leading the husband to have me go without him. I believe with all my heart that without those 8 HARD months my relationship with the Lord wouldn’t be what it is today. While there I learned more about Him and I then I ever would have staying in the comfort of Minot.

There were more days spent on my knees praying, begging God to help us through that season of uncertainty than I can count. Not in our marriage, that was never in question, but just in what we were going to do. Was I going to move back? Was he going to move down? Was medical school actually going to happen? (Spoiler alert, he decided not to go to med school…but that is a whole different story.)

In the midst of those prayers God opened my eyes and heart to see that being a filmmaker was what I was meant to do with my life. While working part time at Victoria’s Secret I met a girl, Jessica, that was going to ASU for filmmaking…you can only imagine how fast we became friends. She introduced me to a whole group of people that I am still connected to today and that is not a coincidence.

And then in one tear filled, Holy Spirit lead night, I wrote my first short film UN-MESSY. It’s a “silent” film, so not that hard to write, but I could see every piece of that film play out in my head over and over.

It took another 2+ years before that film would come to fruition.

Over 2 years of thinking about, talking about, praying about…2+ years of KNOWING this is what I was meant to do and trying to figure out the HOW. But GOD…He is so incredibly faithful. He provided the funds…$100 total, the cast (all of 2 people), the crew (Oh Chris…I will always be thankful for our friendship) and the location.

I knew within my very bones that I was supposed to do this, knew that I was meant to create, to share His truths with the world. It’s in moments where I doubt that I cling to that truth with white knuckles. That I think back on those times and re-read old journal entries from that season to hear Him say “Yes, THIS…”. God is a kind and loving God, and where 1000% everything is meant to be about Him, He calls us to participate in telling HIS story and in sharing HIS glory with the world.

We get to be collaborators with Him and that is by far the most amazing thing ever.


Funny God Stories

"Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:20

God has done some amazing things in my life and as I look back all I can do is laugh. God has a great sense of humor, but I am not laughing at a Platypus (I mean who wouldn’t) – no I’m laughing in awe of what our – bigger than any idea I can come up with – God does in my life.

And in those moments where I don’t think that I should be doing what I am or pursuing the dreams I have – when I am full of doubt and fear – I remember these moments. The moments where God provided the funding for my short film, quicker than I could even ask for it. The moments where God puts peace on my heart as I am writing or standing behind a monitor watching the actors say the words I have written. I remember my film being accepted into one of the biggest Christian film festivals (even just as an honorable mention) and having the chance to go to Florida for 5 days for that festival.

The year after I wrote and filmed Woman at the Well I went to California to visit my grandparents (sadly the last time seeing my Opa). While I was there I had the chance to spend 24 hours in LA with a friend of mine. The morning I was leaving I had time, so I decided to drive around and just see what I could see. At a stop light I had the HOLLYWOOD sign in front of me and VERY clearly I heard God say You aren’t supposed to be here. Not like I wasn’t meant to be there at that moment, but in general that I didn’t need to move to LA to make movies. I had been doing it in Minot for years already, and that is where He wanted me to keep doing it. I am not meant to climb that mountain, I am meant to move it.

I have no clue where this journey will take me. I don’t know if I will ever make a movie that will be seen on a big screen, if I will ever create an image that helps change the way people see things or if God has something COMPLETELY different in store for me. What I DO know without a shadow of a doubt is that at the end of the day as long as I keep taking steps forward – towards Christ – that all I do will bring Glory to His name and that is the ultimate point to everything I do. 

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.      - Ephesians 3:20-21